For those who haven't been following the Primaries all that closely, it may come as a surprise to you that a convict currently serving time in Texas named Keith Judd gave President Obama a run for his money in the West Virginia Democratic Primary. Judd finished with a whopping 41% of the vote to Obama's 59%, highlighting the true devastating consequences that the President's energy policies have had on this coal mining State. Interestingly enough, Ron Paul supporters seized on this moment to tell us how these results show how he is the only Candidate who can beat President Obama in 2012. You can't make this stuff up, folks, so it here is straight from the horses mouth.

I'm not exactly out on what you would call the front lines of the battle for the rights of transgendered people. Not that I am fighting against them getting whatever they can get, I more or less just don't care because it doesn't effect me. That's right people, as hard as it might be to believe, I didn't go into a doctor and say "make me look this way", I just got lucky and nature made it happen. I was born a man. The obnoxious, egotistical part of it all took a lot of hard work and practice to put into place, but I digress. Where was I? Oh, yeah! Trannygate. So when I heard that a transgendered female (or is it a transgendered male?) had entered into the Canadian Miss Universe Pageant and had been denied, I didn't care. In fact, I didn't think she (formerly he) should be allowed to compete. But the powers that be ultimately changed their mind, so now all is well. Right?

I'm sure that some of my readers are ingredient hawks, and you never eat anything without knowing what is in it. Others, like myself, are more concerned with how the food tastes. But somewhere beyond the trans fats and monosodium glutamate, there might be something in your food that you don't know about. Might be. Oklahoma Senator Ralph Shortey hasn't found any instance of a specific case of a human fetus being used in the production of food, but his internet research has led him to believe that a law banning the process is necessary. Of course, he wasted no time in getting the wheels of justice in motion to stop this horrific practice, assuming of course that it has even started. He said the bill would also "raise public awareness", which is naturally low, since this isn't actually happening.

I know many of my readers will have a hard time with this one, but recent research suggests that humans and spiders may have something in common, and it just might be one of the last things that you expected. It appears that male spiders, when preparing to mate, bring the female a gift. Now of course, in our society we consider this to be par for the course, unless of course the gift is cash. Then it is illegal in most jurisdictions. But the study revealed something that I found to be even more interesting.

Every once in awhile we get a story of triumph over tragedy and survival against all odds that warms the heart and touches the soul. This isn't one of those stories. It's half of one of those stories. It seems a North Carolina girl was able to survive two nights trapped in the wreckage of a Government Motors Monte Carlo by eating Pop Tarts.