What's In Your Waffle?

I'm sure that some of my readers are ingredient hawks, and you never eat anything without knowing what is in it. Others, like myself, are more concerned with how the food tastes. But somewhere beyond the trans fats and monosodium glutamate, there might be something in your food that you don't know about. Might be. Oklahoma Senator Ralph Shortey hasn't found any instance of a specific case of a human fetus being used in the production of food, but his internet research has led him to believe that a law banning the process is necessary. Of course, he wasted no time in getting the wheels of justice in motion to stop this horrific practice, assuming of course that it has even started. He said the bill would also "raise public awareness", which is naturally low, since this isn't actually happening.

A Republican state senator from Oklahoma City introduced a bill Tuesday that would ban the use of aborted human fetuses in food, despite conceding that he's unaware of any company using such a practice.

Freshman Sen. Ralph Shortey said his own Internet research led him to believe such a ban is necessary and prompted him to offer the bill aimed at raising "public awareness" and giving an "ultimatum to companies" that might consider such a policy.

See? I wasn't making it up. With all of the problems going on in this world right now, this is what tops Senator Shortey's list of things to do.

Senator Brian Cain, a fellow Republican from Tulsa, is clearly a fetus hater who is not a fan of this legislation.

"We've got too many challenges facing Oklahomans today. We don't need to go looking for possible challenges that may come about sometime in the future," said Crain, R-Tulsa. "If it can be demonstrated that this is a challenge facing our food supply, then I think we need to act quickly, but there's been no demonstration that this is going on.

"I'd hate to think we're going to spend our time coming up with possibilities of things we need to stop."

Well, at least somebody out there has a bit of common sense. But there have to be legitimate supporters of the bill out there somewhere that think this bill doesn't go far enough. Why simply ban the uses of real human fetus' in food? Why not stretch the law to cover artificial fetus? If the guy eating a real fetus is a jerk, what about the guy eating "I Can't Believe It's Not Fetus?"

Now I know that there will be some out there who get upset with me for the casual way I treated this story, and to them I apologize. I was just having a hard time figuring out how to take it seriously.