Meet Miss Eunuchverse

I'm not exactly out on what you would call the front lines of the battle for the rights of transgendered people. Not that I am fighting against them getting whatever they can get, I more or less just don't care because it doesn't effect me. That's right people, as hard as it might be to believe, I didn't go into a doctor and say "make me look this way", I just got lucky and nature made it happen. I was born a man. The obnoxious, egotistical part of it all took a lot of hard work and practice to put into place, but I digress. Where was I? Oh, yeah! Trannygate. So when I heard that a transgendered female (or is it a transgendered male?) had entered into the Canadian Miss Universe Pageant and had been denied, I didn't care. In fact, I didn't think she (formerly he) should be allowed to compete. But the powers that be ultimately changed their mind, so now all is well. Right?

Now truth be told, I didn't think that the artist formerly known as he should be allowed to compete in this pageant. It wasn't a firmly held belief, so I didn't think it through much. It's just that it isn't really a "Miss." It's a Misster. A Shim. A "one of those things." It is a being that defies scientific classification (not that there's anything wrong with that). We call it "trans" gendered, a prefix denoting "a thorough change." It is not a "Miss" as we know it, which is ver clear cut. It not only demotes a female, but one who has not yet "changed" to a Mrs. So this disqualifies our contestant, right?

So basically, I decided to do this article for the sole purpose of using my "Miss Eunuchverse" line. Nice one, huh? But of course, to speak on the matter I needed to follow protocol and get the required pictures. The first picture (on the home page) shows her face only. And I'm thinking "If I didn't know..." but whatever, right? I'm not that homophobic that I can't say she is a pretty freak of nature. Who knows, maybe she has a shot at this thing.

Picture number 2 shows our contestant with her lawyer Gloria Alred. I see this picture and my whole take on this subject changes. I now firmly believe that this girl should be allowed into the competition, because now I'm thinking "Forget what I know..."

If I walked into a bar and I see these two sitting at a table, and I walk over and strike up a conversation, do you think I'm trying to get in tight with Gloria? Absolutely not. Looking at the picture, I'm flirting with "What's her name" formerly "What's his name" over there. All things being equal, there's no man in his right mind that is checking out Alred. Now when you find out she used to be a he, it's decision time. Now what you come up with is your business, but I'm betting either you walk away with the tranny or you walk away alone.  If you're aiming for little miss swap out over there, and settle on Gloria, then you can bet your last dollar it's closing time and you are someplace where you can be damn sure that none of your friends will see you leaving the bar.

Now our Canadian friend over there might not be all woman, but she's more of a woman than Gloria Alred. So good for Trump letting her compete. Anything to make Gloria shut up and go away, right? Which leads me to the most pressing question of this whole situation.

Do they not have any lawyers in Canada, or did Tiger Woods have sex with this she-male?

Sorry, I get distracted easily.