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  • Oh, Those Magical Royals

    Author Administrator

    It's that time of year again. Yes, the time where words like "pitching" and "hitting" get replaced with phrases like "they've got that magic" and "fairy dust". Last night at as I was watching the Royals cash in on that "magic" and finish off their sweep of the Angels I saw a sign in the stands that read "We have always believed. Now everyone else does." Cute sign. Realistic? No. After all, it was just a month ago that Royals Manager Ned Yost ripped into the Royals fans for not showing up to games. In fact, the Royals ranked 25th in the league in attendance this year. So no, you haven't always believed, Royals fans, and I don't believe now either. Magic and fairies can be fun. This is baseball.

  • How Donald Sterling Will Beat The NBA

    Author Administrator

    First off, to be clear I am not a lawyer. I am an over the road truck driver. While this may make you want to be quick to dismiss my observations here, hear me out first. If at the end of the article you still want to dismiss me, feel free. If, however, this article leaves you thinking that I make some valid points, come back and read this first paragraph again. A truck driver, not a lawyer, came up with this. Donald Sterling will be represented by lawyers, not truckers. I'm willing to bet that they can do at least as good a job making a case for him as I am doing right here, and I would even go so far as to suggest that they might do better. Hard to imagine, I know, but it is possible.

  • NBA and Race Relations

    Author Administrator

    The verdict is in. Donald Sterling is banned from life from the NBA. He cannot run his team nor attend his (or any other NBA) games or any NBA meetings. Furthermore, new Commissioner Adam Silver has announced that the league owners will be meeting to vote on taking the Clippers away from Sterling. He also claims to have talked to a few of the owners and claims that he has the votes. Wait a second... I thought this guy was supposed to be a genius lawyer. Way to plead guilty to collusion before the deal is even done and open the door to the Sterling antitrust lawsuit that will allow him to keep his team. But I digress.

  • Donald Sterling is a racist, but...

    Author Steve Parry

    Yes, this is the topic of conversation for the day. Did you hear what Donald Sterling said to his girlfriend? He should lose his team. All over sports talk radio, and even into the mainstream sources, this is all I hear. What's my opinion on it? Sports talk show hosts are idiots. That's my opinion on the matter. I say this for two reasons. 1, these are guys whose very living depends on their ability to exercise free speech, yet they want a man to lose his livelihood for expressing an unpopular and undesirable opinion. Catch the irony here? But that aside, there is a much larger issue at hand. To be specific, I am speaking here to Evan Cohen, Steve Phillips, Dan Patrick, and Adam Schein. Would any of you hosts care to swim up from the bottom and deal with the real issue at hand here?

  • JFK Conspiracy Theories

    JFK Conspiracy Theories

    Author Administrator

    Two conspiracy theorists die and go to heaven. St. Peter tells them that Heaven is a place of all knowledge, so they can each ask him one question and he will reveal the answer to them. The first one says "Who killed John F. Kennedy?" St. Peter says "Lee Harvey Oswald." The other says "Who was he working with?" St. Peter says "He acted alone." The two of them look at each other and say "Wow! The coverup is bigger than we thought!" But seriously, what keeps this stuff going? Some would say the evidence. Other would say mental illness. I myself am unsure, and I have a hard time really focusing on this one as I didn't live through it. This article is pretty much a starting point for me and a note to self. Steve, debunk this one.

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Steve Parry

So in the NL ballpark with no DH #Yost responds by starting his 7th inning defensive replacement?

by Steve Parry

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How To Hire A Hitman

Written by Administrator on .

Steve ParryI like to watch detective shows when I'm not driving (preferably) and my favorite are the reality ones. I've seen countless episodes of people trying to hire a hitman and it not working out so well for them. Thus, I know that if you want to hire someone to kill someone else, and you mention it to a friend, they will always refer you to "a guy they know". This guy will have a thick beard and a bad mullet. He will arrange a meet up in a low budget motel room. He will ask you a bunch of questions about how you want the job done like "You want it to look like an accident, right"? He will then take half the money up front right before the rest of the cops bust in from the other room and arrest you. This is not a good way to hire a hitman.

But what is a good way to hire a hitman? I decided to investigate, and I have developed a fool proof way for you to have your enemy "offed" without any legal repercussions for yourself. Now, people will know you did it, and will say a bunch of bad stuff about you, but you get rid of your problem and you walk. Cool?

I should point out that I have not personally tried this method, but I have done plenty of research on liberal blogs, and it is foolproof. It will only, however, work in the United States. Also, to protect the innocent I will use myself as the example victim for the sake of this period of instruction. That means that by the time you read this, I will likely be dead, but know that I died passing along some great knowledge. Okay, ready to whack someone? Let's go.

Step 1: Get A Map

Any old map of the United States will do. For the sake of this example hit, we will use this one.

USmap

Step 2: Get A Picture

For this step you will need a picture of your intended victim. The picture should be a current one that looks as they look now. Don't use an old yearbook photo or anything. If you don't have a picture of them, get it off their facebook. If they don't have a facebook, you're retarded for wasting your time killing someone that anonymous. For the sake of our example hit, we will use this picture of me.

me

Step 3: Get A Site.

You will need a picture of a gun site. This should be a transparent gif or png. For our hit, we will use this one.

Sight

Step 4: Line 'Em Up

Now you will need a simple image editor that will allow you to layer images on top of each other. In this step, you will take the picture of your victim and place it on the State that he or she resides in. In my case, that would be Indiana, so our new map will look like this.

Map With Me

Step 5: Ready, Aim.

Now, you will need to take your gun site and place it over the image of the victim. Make sure that you alter the image enough so that their face is visible through the site so that the local nut cases will be able to see who they need to kill. The finished product should look like so.

Map Victim Site

Step 6: Post

For the final step, simply post the graphic to the internet. It doesn't much matter where, but it should be in a place where people can see it. I might suggest your personal blog or website, because it is likely you will have more supporters there. Your facebook or myspace should work nicely as well.

That is it, folks. Now, all we have to do is sit back and wait. In a very short time, some psychopath will come make the hit for you, and free of charge at that. Of course, in this case, I used myself, so I should probably say a nice goodbye before I post this. I know that many of you are thinking "Don't do it, Steve" but I have to. You know why? Because I am a people person. And the way I see it, if this post can save just one person from having to put up with a real bastard, than it is all worth while. So long, internet friends. It's been fun. I'm hitting the post button now.

 

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