Welcome To The Axis

  • Trump's Electoral Victory

    Trump's Electoral Victory

    Author Administrator

    President Trump went on a long rant of a press conference yesterday where he lashed out at the press, and praised the job that he's been doing as President. He claimed that his Administration is running "like a fine tuned machine" and blamed the notion of a chaotic White House on "fake news". This word comes on the heels of one of his appointees resigning or being fired (depending on which day you ask the President), another appointee withdrawing to avoid being voted down, and a third declining his appointment, referencing the offer as a "shit sandwich".  In the presser, President Trump also told a few whoppers, including one he has often repeated even though it has been thoroughly debunked.

  • Betsy DeVos Buys A Job

    Betsy DeVos Buys A Job

    Author Administrator

    Alright, before the Trump fans have a conniption, the sub headline there is a joke. Despite what you might believe if you watched this broad stumble through her confirmation hearing, she has been educated by someone. Somewhere. Someone who probably isn't rushing to the forefront right now to claim her. I scrolled back to December 18th on the Calvin College Facebook page and there was no mention of their Alumnus poised for such a prestigious governmental position. Now in fairness, I have no idea what protocol is for this sort of thing, but I would think it might get a congratulations or at least a mention, but in this case there was none.

  • We're Going To Build A Wall

    We're Going To Build A Wall

    Author Administrator

    These words rang out time and again from Donald Trump during the Presidential campaign. "We're going to build a wall," Trump would exhort his rally audiences. He would then ask them who is going to pay for the wall? "Mexico!", they would yell back. As President, Trump signed an executive order to get the wall started. This lead many people to proclaim that he was keeping his campaign promise. However, the President has asked Congress to pay for the wall with the promise that he would find a way to get the money from Mexico at some point in the future. Then the Administration floated the idea of a 20% tax on Mexican imports. Now before we get into that, let's discuss the notion of keeping promises.

  • Trump Fabricates Shootings During Obama Speech

    Trump Fabricates Shootings During Obama Speech

    Author Administrator

    As Trump has said, the level of violence in Chicago is through the roof. Last month, they had 40 murders in 22 days. 6 people were shot at a memorial for another victim of the gun violence on Wednesday. Despite last years spike in the murder rate, this year has gotten off to an even more violent start, with more murders-to-date than the city had seen in nearly 20 years. It's sad to see what is going on there, and President Trump has even talked about sending federal law enforcement to clean the mess up. One would think that with all of this violence and mayhem, the President wouldn't feel the need to invent murders that didn't happen. One would be wrong.

  • Trump's Voter Fraud Claims

    Trump's Voter Fraud Claims

    Author Administrator

    Back during the election process Donald Trump brought this up, and my Facebook friends who supported him started beating me over the head with this study from the PEW Research Center. Why? Because despite being a Republican, I reject the notion of widespread voter fraud. So Trump brings up the conclusion of this study, and it starts a chain reaction among his supporters. "Try to deny it now, Steve." At the time, I told the lovely Ramona that this is what truly bothers me about Trump. I expect the average guy on the street to misunderstand what some of these studies are saying, but for a Presidential Candidate this is pretty basic stuff. So, allow me to lay out my case again why Trump is wrong and I was right, and this time I will have a little affirmation from those in the know.

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How To Hire A Hitman

Written by Administrator.

Steve ParryI like to watch detective shows when I'm not driving (preferably) and my favorite are the reality ones. I've seen countless episodes of people trying to hire a hitman and it not working out so well for them. Thus, I know that if you want to hire someone to kill someone else, and you mention it to a friend, they will always refer you to "a guy they know". This guy will have a thick beard and a bad mullet. He will arrange a meet up in a low budget motel room. He will ask you a bunch of questions about how you want the job done like "You want it to look like an accident, right"? He will then take half the money up front right before the rest of the cops bust in from the other room and arrest you. This is not a good way to hire a hitman.

But what is a good way to hire a hitman? I decided to investigate, and I have developed a fool proof way for you to have your enemy "offed" without any legal repercussions for yourself. Now, people will know you did it, and will say a bunch of bad stuff about you, but you get rid of your problem and you walk. Cool?

I should point out that I have not personally tried this method, but I have done plenty of research on liberal blogs, and it is foolproof. It will only, however, work in the United States. Also, to protect the innocent I will use myself as the example victim for the sake of this period of instruction. That means that by the time you read this, I will likely be dead, but know that I died passing along some great knowledge. Okay, ready to whack someone? Let's go.

Step 1: Get A Map

Any old map of the United States will do. For the sake of this example hit, we will use this one.

USmap

Step 2: Get A Picture

For this step you will need a picture of your intended victim. The picture should be a current one that looks as they look now. Don't use an old yearbook photo or anything. If you don't have a picture of them, get it off their facebook. If they don't have a facebook, you're retarded for wasting your time killing someone that anonymous. For the sake of our example hit, we will use this picture of me.

me

Step 3: Get A Site.

You will need a picture of a gun site. This should be a transparent gif or png. For our hit, we will use this one.

Sight

Step 4: Line 'Em Up

Now you will need a simple image editor that will allow you to layer images on top of each other. In this step, you will take the picture of your victim and place it on the State that he or she resides in. In my case, that would be Indiana, so our new map will look like this.

Map With Me

Step 5: Ready, Aim.

Now, you will need to take your gun site and place it over the image of the victim. Make sure that you alter the image enough so that their face is visible through the site so that the local nut cases will be able to see who they need to kill. The finished product should look like so.

Map Victim Site

Step 6: Post

For the final step, simply post the graphic to the internet. It doesn't much matter where, but it should be in a place where people can see it. I might suggest your personal blog or website, because it is likely you will have more supporters there. Your facebook or myspace should work nicely as well.

That is it, folks. Now, all we have to do is sit back and wait. In a very short time, some psychopath will come make the hit for you, and free of charge at that. Of course, in this case, I used myself, so I should probably say a nice goodbye before I post this. I know that many of you are thinking "Don't do it, Steve" but I have to. You know why? Because I am a people person. And the way I see it, if this post can save just one person from having to put up with a real bastard, than it is all worth while. So long, internet friends. It's been fun. I'm hitting the post button now.