False Reports From AZ Shooting Investigated
Creation Date Tuesday, 11 January 2011. Hits 1330
Some of the early reports that came out of this weekends tragic shooting in Arizona mistakenly identified Representative Giffords as one of the deceased as a result of the shooting. Later in the day, we learned that those reports were in error. I wanted to investigate this subject to see why this happened. Originally, I assumed that there was some type of breakdown in the way the reporting occurred. Certainly, a reporter had jumped the gun or made an assumption that turned out to be incorrect. What I found instead was actually quite surprising. There was a little more behind the false report than what initially appears on the surface. To understand why they got the story wrong, we must first understand how the story developed.
When the story broke, field reporters in Arizona relayed the story back to their local news desks. They in turn sent the story to their national headquarters. At these corporate offices, teams of experts began to work on the story immediately. Their job was to cover all angles and get the full story out as quickly as possible. Political teams worked the political angles, medical teams studied the injuries, law enforcement teams looked into the security angle, and so on. The confusion seemed to set in when medical teams and political teams got together and came to a false conclusion based on early reports that Rep Giffords was a "Blue Dog" or fiscal conservative Democrat.
Medical teams first looked at the difference between how liberals and conservatives use their brains. Falsely believing Mrs. Giffords to be more Conservative than she was, they looked at the graphic below that shows the Conservative brain. In red, you see the part that the conservative uses. Inside the yellow highlighted area, you will see the gray area which depicts the part of the brain left unused by a Conservative.
It was based on this graphic that they determined that the bullet hit a vital part of the brain and determined that the Congresswoman had likely died. Shortly thereafter, the political teams took a closer look at her record and realized that despite the fact that she speaks of saving money, she had voted for health care reform, and many of Obama's big spending bills. Realizing that she was indeed a Liberal, they rushed to get their chart of the liberal brain, pictured below. This time, the part of the brain that a liberal uses is in blue, while the part unused by a liberal remains gray.
Using this diagram, it was easy to see that the bullet had past through a part of the brain never used by liberals. This is the part that creates rational thought, good ideas, and helps one to act as a responsible adult. Realizing their error, they quickly corrected the story and reported that the Congresswoman was still alive.
Sadly, not everyone was able to escape the shooting with their lives, and now many on the left have used that little spec of their brain that is actually active to try to blame this shooting on Sarah Palin. She, after all, put up the website that drew a target on this Congressional District and thus directly told all Americans to head to a shopping center with a semi-automatic and put a slug in this woman's brain. Somehow, only this one nut job and every liberal on the planet got the message. He was a nut case, so he carried it out. They are sane and rational, so they simply reported the connection.
If you are a Conservative, you might be doubting the logic behind blaming Palin. Don't. It is perfectly sound. It is all her fault. Well, hers and George Bush's. Tomorrow, we will study the politico headline "Battleground Poll: Democrats tied in generic" to see if Politico is trying to get Democrats to take up arms against each other.