Two conspiracy theorists die and go to heaven. St. Peter tells them that Heaven is a place of all knowledge, so they can each ask him one question and he will reveal the answer to them. The first one says "Who killed John F. Kennedy?" St. Peter says "Lee Harvey Oswald." The other says "Who was he working with?" St. Peter says "He acted alone." The two of them look at each other and say "Wow! The coverup is bigger than we thought!" But seriously, what keeps this stuff going? Some would say the evidence. Other would say mental illness. I myself am unsure, and I have a hard time really focusing on this one as I didn't live through it. This article is pretty much a starting point for me and a note to self. Steve, debunk this one.
Just for some giggles, I wanted to take you back for a moment to a simpler time in our Country. Back to a day where a moron could be a moron and we could all have a good laugh and we didn't have to pretend that the guy was some kind of genius. Yes, ladies and gentleman, I am of course talking about when Dan Quayle was Vice President. Anyone care for a "potatoe"?
Yes, that is the moment when a 6th grader taught the Vice President of the United States how to spell the word "potato". In fairness to former Vice President Quayle, he was indeed enforcing the spelling of the word as it was listed on his flash card that was provided for him by the school. I wonder what the excuse is here?
Notice, in this case President Obama is attempting to spell the word "Syracuse". You can see the result of such a strain on the Presidential brain. In this instance, however, the correct spelling of the word was given to the President a mere two inches away from where the word was officially murdered and later pronounced dead at the scene.
It should be noted that the bracket scenario didn't get much better for the President.
President Obama managed to get only 2 of the Elite Eight, and that number was artificially inflated thanks to a save by Andy Katz when President Obama attempted to pick Missouri over West Virginia. His pick of Nova to beat Duke and Kentucky over West Virginia lead to none of his teams making the Final Four. Now, once again, to be entirely fair, I don't think that anybody could have guessed this Final Four. There were some stunning upsets this year, and I didn't personally do a bracket, but mine would not have looked much better.
Either way, here at The Axis of Stevil Show, you are officially allowed (in fact, you are encouraged) to laugh at both of these clowns, so I have compiled the first ever Axis Top Ten Gaffe Off between former Vice President Dan Quayle and sitting President Barack Obama.
10. Where am I?
Dan Quayle: "I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix."
Barack Obama: In front of a roaring Sioux Falls, S.D., audience, Obama exulted: “Thank you, Sioux City. ... I said it wrong. I’ve been in Iowa for too long. I’m sorry.”
9. When was that?
Dan Quayle: "I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."
Barack Obama: “There was something stirring across the country because of what happened in Selma, Ala., because some folks are willing to march across a bridge. So they got together and Barack Obama Jr. was born.” Obama was born in 1961. The Selma march took place in 1965.
8. Where are we?
Dan Quayle: "We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."
Barack Obama: Explaining why he was trailing Hillary Clinton in Kentucky, Obama again botched basic geography: “Sen. Clinton, I think, is much better known, coming from a nearby state of Arkansas. So it’s not surprising that she would have an advantage in some of those states in the middle.” On what map is Arkansas closer to Kentucky than Illinois?
7. What are they doing?
Dan Quayle: "Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."
Barack Obama: "I want to thank President Obama for inviting everyone over."
6. They did what?
Dan Quayle: "Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
Barack Obama: "I don't want them to be punished with a baby."
5. They Need What?
Dan Quayle: "What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."
Barack Obama: Everybody knows that it makes no sense that you send a kid to the emergency room for a treatable illness like asthma, they end up taking up a hospital bed, it costs, when, if you, they just gave, you gave them treatment early and they got some treatment, and a, a breathalyzer, or inhalator, not a breathalyzer.
4. What's the word?
Dan Quayle: "One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared.'"
President Obama: "Corpsman"
Dan Quayle: "The future will be better tomorrow."
Barack Obama: “The reforms we seek would bring greater competition, choice, savings and inefficiencies to our health care system.”
2. Back for another.
Dan Quayle: "I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy -- but that could change."
Barack Obama: “On this Memorial Day, as our nation honors its unbroken line of fallen heroes — and I see many of them in the audience here today — our sense of patriotism is particularly strong.”
1. From beginning to end.
Dan Quayle: "The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
Barack Obama: "“Those same folks who were hollering about it before we passed it, they’re still hollering about how the world will end because we passed this bill. This is not an exaggeration.”"