Forgive me if I seem to be celebrating a bit here over what will come as bad news to some, but years ago I had applied a healthy dose of common sense to this problem so I didn't have to wait for this study to come out to realize the "shocking" information I am about to deliver. Hippies, left-wingers, vegans, and loose nuts of all shapes and sizes, grab a box of tissues and a good comfortable seat. I know I am the last person you want to hear this from, but your organic food is killing you. I know, I know. I'm nuts, right? I'm the crazy guy that won't eat the food you found in the woods while you were hunting. I'm the guy that says if God wanted you to eat that turkey he would have wrapped it in plastic and put a Butterball sticker on it. So what do i know, right? Well, my organically inclined friends, read the Hudson Institute and weep.
The new reality is quite sobering. Organic and "natural" food producers supply only about 1 percent of the nation’s food, but the Centers for Disease Control have traced approximately 8 percent of the confirmed E. coli 0157 cases to such foods. Consumer Reports recently found much higher levels of salmonella on free-range chickens than on conventionally raised ones. Many other organic foods also pose higher salmonella risks than "supermarket" foods. To be sure, most strains of salmonella are mild and are easily killed by cooking one’s food adequately. But the new salmonella, S. typhimurium, is far stronger than other varieties. Infection often proves fatal. The CDC estimates that there are up to four million cases of salmonella poisoning per year in the U.S., and it has identified one-fourth of the culture-confirmed cases as the more virulent S. typhimurium.
Yes, I have been having this battle with people I know for some time. "Steve, you need to eat healthier. You should buy organic when you can." Well, I never buy organic unless there is no alternative, and that is rare. Yes, I realize that for thousands of years men grew their foods without chemical fertilizers and pesticides. I am also aware that this is the precise reason that men invented chemical fertilizers and pesticides. It's a very simple path of logic, if you would care to follow me down it I wouldn't mind leading you.
You see, it is rather difficult to get a decent yield out of a product year in and year out without some type of fertilizer. This caused man to search for some substance that would cause food to grow. Man found that substance in the excrement of cows. Yes, for Peggy Joseph, that would be cow poop. Now I don't mean to criticize my ancestors here. Hey, you use what is available to you, right? But I certainly don't blame them for asking the question "Is there some way to grow more food that does not include cows taking a dump on my dinner?".
Adding to the frustration of the early farmer was the fact that he wasn't the only one who liked the food he was growing. Larger animals were not that much of a problem. You build a fence, and shoot the ones that figure out a way around it. It was the bugs and insects that were kicking his tail. The only thing worse than spending your whole summer scooping poop onto your potatoes (for Dan Quayle, that is plural for potatoe) is spending the whole summer scooping poop onto some insects potatoes, know what I mean?
Fortunately, science had the answer to both of these problems, which led to me eating food that is free of both bugs and cow poop. Until these organic freaks came along, I had no idea that anybody could possibly consider that to be a bad thing. Yet anyone who listened to last nights episode of Coast to Coast heard a "health food expert" from Natural News sing the praises of Organic, and talk about how big corporate farms are trying to kill us. Interestingly enough, there is no mention of this study on his website.
I never fell for this whole organic food craze because I used common sense. If presented with an alternative, why would I eat food that contains cow dung? If organic food is so much better for me, why did the people who had only organic food die so young? If corporate farms are knowingly and willingly using products that will kill us, who do they intend to feed when we are all dead?
Now I know that many of you who refused to accept my logic will also refuse to accept the science, and I am okay with that. If you wish to eat the food that nourished people to a ripe old age of 50, than by all means feel free. I will probably waste the extra 20 years I get from the corporate farms doing something stupid anyway, so who am I to judge? Just remember me when you sit down to your organic breakfast of soy bacon, free range chicken egg whites, and cow plop hash browns. I'll be the crazy guy eating the eggs that I didn't find in the woods, bacon that did require a pig to meet an untimely demise, and potatoes that had nothing to do with the business end of a cow. And if you have any goals that you feel you may not achieve in your organically induced shortened lifespan, feel free to post them here. Perhaps I will get bored with my extra 20 and work on them for you.
