I didn't know that the First Lady was scheduled to appear on Mike Huckabee's show on Fox News last Sunday Night, so I was shocked to tune in on my Sirius Radio and hear her voice on the hated Conservative network. Once I got my jaw picked up off of the floor, I decided to give a listen to what she had to say. I have previously mocked her obesity initiative on the show by calling it a "Twinkie Tour" but I figured, what the heck, let's give it a fair shot. Guess what? Yea, it's even worse than I thought. You can check the entire transcript here, I will be referencing it throughout this article.

Government Takeover Or No?

My concern with this type of initiative is always that it will be an excuse for the Government to get more involved in our daily lives. This came up in the interview, and here is what Michelle had to say.

We have the solutions in our hand, but it takes a coordinated effort. It’s going to take all of us. Government, business, our coaches, our teachers, parents all working together. So, my hope is that I can be one components in helping to pull that cohort together.

So there we have it. Government is going to have to get involved and step in and kick twinkies out of fat kids mouths. Right?

Well, this is the one thing that this initiative isn’t. Because I’ve spoken to a lot of experts about this issue, and the one thing that they haven’t said is that government telling people what to do is the answer. This is not government intervention.

Okay, check that. This is a relief. No Government intervention, right?

But it's also what's going on in our schools, cause most of our kids get the majority of their calories that they eat in school. So we have an opportunity to work with the federal government and the school lunch providers to figure out how do we make those meals healthier. You know, how do we take out fat, sugar and salt and put in more fruit vegetables and whole grains.

Wait a second, so it is Government intervention? Work with me here.

So the point is, if we can do that in Philly and we can do that in Pennsylvania, cause they're implementing this all throughout the state, then perhaps this is a model that we can look at for the rest of the country. So Let's Move, a piece of that is creating a healthy food-financing initiative, investing $400 million to try and leverage some additional resources for states and communities that want to replicate that. So it's giving governors and mayors some support to figure out how do we attract more grocery stores here, how do we change the mindset, because it's really not about what our kids eat, it's also about what their communities are like. You know, you can't live in a community that doesn't have food in it, right? I mean, that's basic -- the basic foundation.

Were we on yes or no? I don't remember, so let's do this one instead. Childhood obesity isn't about what kids eat? It's about what their communities are like? So basically, I could eat right and exercise and still be fat because I live in the wrong neighborhood? Where the heck are these kids living, in ginger bread houses? Are calories literally falling off the walls and being absorbed through their pores while they are sleeping?

The Problem

Well, if what the kids weight isn't about what they eat, and it's actually the fault of the community they live in, then I guess we need a new definition of the problem. Can I get my explanation with a cute little liberal code word please? Our First Lady graciously obliged.

There are 23.5 million Americans who live in food deserts, and this isn't just in urban communities...

 Food Desert? She went on...

This is areas where there are absolute -- there's no access to a grocery store. So there are places, like in the communities that we visited in Philadelphia, they hadn't had a grocery store in their community in a decade.

All right, you think about a decade of a community. So that means that if a mom in that area wanted to make a salad for their kid -- right? -- even if she was geared up to do it, that means she would have to get in a cab, take a bus, get on a train to get to a grocery store to do that. And you're just sort of -- think of families that are busy, they don't have resources, they just don't do it.

Now I don't want to call Michelle an elitist or anything, but yes you read that right. "Oh my God! Can you believe that there are people who actually have to use some type of transportation to get to some sort of a gathering place where they can get food products? They don't have people to run their errands for them? How horrible! Do they even have to cook it themselves? No full time staff to make sure their is food on their plate sitting on their table? Oh, the humanity!"

 Am I over-reacting? Here is how wikipedia defines a "food desert".

A food desert is a district with little or no access to foods needed to maintain a healthy diet but often served by plenty of fast food restaurants.

The concept of 'access' may be interpreted in three ways.

• 'Physical access' to shops can be difficult if the shops are distant, the shopper is elderly or infirm, the area has many hills, public transport links are poor, and the consumer has no car. Also, the shop may be across a busy road, difficult to cross with children or with underpasses that some fear to use because of a crime risk. For some, such as the disabled, the inside of the shop may be hard to access physically if there are steps up or the interior is cramped with no room for walking aids. Carrying fresh food home may also be hard for some.

• 'Financial access' is difficult if the consumer lacks the money to buy healthy foods (generally more expensive, calorie for calorie, than less healthy, sugary, and fatty 'junk foods') or if the shopper cannot afford the bus fare to remote shops selling fresh foods and instead uses local fast food outlets. Other forms of financial access barriers may be inability to afford storage space for food, or for the very poor, living in temporary accommodation that does not offer good cooking facilities.

• Mental attitude or food knowledge of the consumer may prevent them accessing fresh vegetables. They may lack cooking knowledge or have the idea that eating a healthy diet isn't important.

Yes, a food desert is a place where people say "I would like to eat healthy, but there is a hill between here and the grocery store, so I'm eating McDonalds instead. I don't want to have to cross a busy street or anything". Oh, and let me not leave this guy out. "So you say I'm getting fat because I eat an 8 piece family meal from KFC every night, and I consider gravy to be a soft drink? I had no idea that a healthy diet was important. Here all this time I thought I was fat because I was living in a ginger bread house."

FOX News With The Tough Questions

HUCKABEE: They want to know, how do you have such wonderfully toned arms.

OBAMA: So if you want to know how I got my arms, it's because, you know, I'm in the gym.

HUCKABEE: I'm going to pass that on, because that was what they all wanted to know.

OBAMA: Right.

HUCKABEE: And I think you've made the good point, too, that it's a combination of nutrition and exercise.

OBAMA: Yes.

Damn. I had five bucks on the community she lived in giving her great arms. 

Are you kidding me here? Nobody at FOX has any ideas on how one could tone their arms? Yea, make sure you pass that info along Mike. They are going to be so shocked when they hear it. By the way, did you have to promise to only throw softball questions out there, or were you being serious, Mike?

Inside Stuff

Ever wonder why the President seems to be so clueless about how bad his poll numbers drop every time he gets back on the health care wagon?

But I try to stay away from, you know, news because, you know, I want to formulate my opinions based on experiences that I have. So, you know, I'll read clips. You know, I get headlines. But I tend and I try to keep home kind of a news-free zone.

What an insight into the mind of a liberal. "I try to stay away from the news because I would hate for my opinions to be influenced by facts or information and stuff. I'd rather see the whole world through the lens of my personal experiences." Wait, isn't that supposed to be the criticism of the global warming deniers? "It snowed here, so there's no global warming". Isn't that what Obama said? It turns out it's not the other side who does that, it's his wife. She went on...

You know it's sort of like, when you work above the shop, you can't just bring work home.

With all due respect, isn't that why the Oval Office is in the White House?  Isn't the President kinda supposed to be President 24 hours a day? No wonder they stayed in Hawaii for their full vacation after the Christmas Day terrorist attack. We're lucky he didn't stay in the White House for his vacation, or he wouldn't have even known it had happened over there in the "No News Zone".

You Know?

And it's a really cool country with some really great people all over the place. You know, I mean, it still brings tears to my eyes because we don't often get to do that as Americans. We don't get to campaign and have to go to Iowa and then to Montana and then over to you know, but you're forced in a very good way to do that. And when you do that, you see the true America. And it's decent, and it's kind and it's hopeful and it's critical, right, and it's demanding, but it's courageous. It's not cowardly in that way.

And that's the truth that, you know, I hold on to. And that's the truth that I teach my children, you know. It's part of dad's job, you know.

He's doing a big thing. There will be people who won't agree with him, you know, that's life, you know? People won't agree with you, you know.

So just, you know, know that, you know, I teach my kids to keep moving forward, know what's in their heart and, you know, stay true. And it's that faith, you know, that really keeps you going.

So she cries because Americans don't get to campaign very often and go to Iowa and Montana and... what, did she run out of State's there? Could she not come up with the name of one of the other 55 (it's a joke, Peggy Joseph) States?

I'm not really sure what she's trying to say there, you know? If anyone else can make sense of it, you know, feel free to explain it in my comments, you know? That would help me out, you know? For the show, you know?

I thought she was supposed to be the smarter of the two. I guess we really are screwed.