Banital: The Way Stupid People Don't Lose Weight

As an over-the-road trucker, I spend a lot of time driving and listening to Sirius XM Satellite Radio. Sometimes this is a good thing. I listen to a heck of a lot of news and talk radio, so one could say I get informed and misinformed all in the same place. Every now and then, however, I hear a commercial that drives me completely insane. Back when I was still doing the show, I went on an annoyance campaign against Rosetta Stone over a dangling participle in their "learn to speak a foreign language" ads, and eventually the ad was changed. Do I get the credit? In my own mind, perhaps. Well, enter the latest ad to annoy me. Perhaps you have heard or seen this ad for a weight loss product called Banital.

Banital markets itself as a 7 Day Cleanse. The idea behind this is you take the product for a week and it frees up the built up fat that your body has stored for years. Does it work? I don't know, but according to their ad? No, it doesn't work. Below you will find a video of their ad which makes the following claim.

"It's so easy. Months of failed dieting may be equal to a week of Banital."

Now my knee-jerk reaction to this is predictable. What is a diet? It is an attempt to lose weight. What is a failed diet? It is an attempt to lose weight that didn't produce results. So what are they saying here? Basically...

"Why wait months to realize you fell for a scam. With Banital, you will be cursing yourself for wasting $50 in just one short week."

You mean instead of waiting months to be disappointed, I could fall into a depression induced binge eating spree in one short week? Where do I sign up for that?

But that is so bottom feeder of me. Notice the disclaimer built in? They won't even go out on that limb far enough to give you a guarantee that their product can perform as well as a failed diet. No, not these guys. They say it "may" be the equivalent of failed dieting.

Now to be fair here, I have not used this product nor am I aware of anyone that I know using this product, however that may change in the form of an angry email here shortly. Is it possible that this is the weight loss secret that the world has been waiting for? Absolutely. If it is, will I be the guy to discover that? Absolutely not. I'm patient. I'm perfectly willing to wait through the months of failed dieting.

Comments (2)

• 

  Angry B!t(h

  • 07 April 2013 at 19:39
  • #

  You're a jerk. Just because I want to lose weight so I'm willing to try a new product I am stupid? I would rather be fat and stupid than a jerk.

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  • 

    Steve Parry

    • 11 April 2013 at 07:38
    • #

    Why must you do this to me? In fairness, the headline does paint with a broad brush. If you found this in the store and decided to try it, then no, that does not make you stupid. If you saw the ad and decided to try it, than perhaps the headline is an accurate description. But then you say this.
    
    "I would rather be fat and stupid than a jerk."
    
    Glad to see things are working out for you.

    reply