Betsy DeVos Buys A Job

Alright, before the Trump fans have a conniption, the sub headline there is a joke. Despite what you might believe if you watched this broad stumble through her confirmation hearing, she has been educated by someone. Somewhere. Someone who probably isn't rushing to the forefront right now to claim her. I scrolled back to December 18th on the Calvin College Facebook page and there was no mention of their Alumnus poised for such a prestigious governmental position. Now in fairness, I have no idea what protocol is for this sort of thing, but I would think it might get a congratulations or at least a mention, but in this case there was none.

For anyone who followed the DeVos confirmation hearings, it was quite the theatrical affair. From her complete lack of anything remotely resembling a clue when asked a question by Al Franken (see video below) about educational strategies, to her struggling to answer a simple question about the relationship between her donations and her nomination, the woman seemed to be totally off her game the entire time. My personal favorite was this random speculation on her part about the potential presence of a gun in a school.

"I think probably there, I would imagine that there's probably a gun in the school to protect from potential grizzlies,"

It's a brief glimpse into the mind of Betsy DeVos, and I assure you... that mind is a scary place. A place where, apparently, some creature exists that is not a grizzly at this particular point in time, but may eventually become a grizzly if it arrives at a school that doesn't have a gun. Fortunately however, the school in question has someone with an IQ higher than the single digits running it, so they had implemented a different strategy to protect from bears. One that any Trump nominee should be at least vaguely familiar with. It's called a fence.

Now at this point, you might be thinking that I'm having a little too much fun at this poor woman's expense. Surely she at least has the basic qualifications for the job, right? Let's review, shall we?

• Betsy doesn't have a degree in education.
• Betsy hasn't worked in education.
• Betsy has never attended a public school or state college.
• Betsy has never enrolled a child in public school or state college.
• Betsy has never procured a student loan Pell Grant for herself.
• Betsy has never procured a student loan or Pell Grant for her children.

So at this point you might be thinking, wait a second Steve. You're telling me this woman not only isn't educated in the field, she has never worked in the field, nor does she even have any personal experience of being a consumer in the field? Than how did she get the job?

The simple answer.

Just in case you think I'm exaggerating this, and people on the right think that this woman is a genius and are really excited about her running the Department of Education, here is a tweet from The Blaze, a conservative news organization run by Glenn Beck, celebrating Miss DeVos' first major accomplishment at her new job.

Can you believe it folks? We're lucky to have her. This woman was outside of a building and, next thing you know, she was on the inside of the same building. And what clever maneuver did she pull off to accomplish this act of sheer genius? She chose the door that wasn't crowded with people. Make a note to yourselves, folks. That might come in handy later.

All of this aside, I want to reassure my readers. Don't worry. You're going to be fine. If the public schools all go to hell in a hand basket, we'll still have Trump University. In the meantime, why not kill a few brain cells watching the painful exchange below.