NCAA Strikes Again

Just in case you were wondering about how the NCAA policy on using ethnic names as mascots leaves some teams changing their name, and others keeping their old ones, let me break it down for you really quickly. The Florida State Seminoles, named after the Seminole Indians, are allowed to keep their name because they got the Seminole Tribe to sign off on it. The St. John's Red Storm is no longer the Red Men because they weren't named after Indians. They were simply called the Red Men because their uniforms were red. Thus, no Indians could sign off on this one, and uniforms aren't literate, so they had to change their name on the off chance that the fabric was offended by being assigned to a particular gender. The Utah Utes kept their name when Oren Hatch bribed the Ute Indians with a Casino. And the Notre Dame Fighting Irish are still the Fighting Irish because they are white, so who cares if they are offended. Got it? Good.

Now allow me to introduce you to a less popular school who is currently acting in defiance of the NCAA. Meet the North Dakota Fighting Sioux. They recently received the following letter from the NCAA.

Dear De. LeBel:

President Robert Kelly recently informed me that the University of North Dakota was resuming its use of the Fighting Sioux nickname and imagery in connection with its athletics program. I noted in my discussion with you and Mr. Brain (misspelled name) Faison that this action by the university means that your athletics programs are subject to the NCAA's policies concerning participation in NCAA championships. Please allow me to reiterate the limitations that are in effect immediately:

1. No University of North Dakota team may host an NCAA championship round. If a North Dakota team is selected as the lower-seeded team in a championship competition, North Dakota would be designated as the "home" team but would be assigned to play at the higher-seeded institution's venue.

(There is a slim chance this could happen to UND's women's hockey team if they win the Final Face-off at Duluth this weekend and get one of the top four seeds in the NCAA tournament. The men's hockey team won't host a regional if it makes the NCAA field; those four sites have been assigned long ago. One is the Xcel.)

2. If the university accepts an invitation to participate in any postseason competition, the NCAA policy requires that student-athletes, band, cheerleading, dance and mascot uniforms and paraphernalia not have hostile or abusive racial/ethnic/national original references during the NCAA championship competition.

3. If an invitation is accepted and the university must forfeit competition because it has not adhered to this requirement, the NCAA reserves its right to seek reimbursement for expenses incurred by the Association for travel, per diem or other expenses in connection with the championship.

It is the spirit of the NCAA's championship policy that the competing student-athletes {both North Dakota and its opponents) not be distracted of disrupted during the championship by debates about when and where your institution's Native American imagery or nickname may be displayed or worn. Therefore, we ask that the university take measures to minimize or eliminate the presence of the imagery or nickname brought to an NCAA championship venue.

Should you have any further questions, please feel free to contact me.

Sincerely,

Bernard W. Franklin

Executive Vice President of Membership and Student-Athlete Affairs/Chief Inclusion Officer

Nice, huh?

Now perhaps you are in agreement with this idiot, and think the name should be changed. After all, they did not get the approval of the two Indian Tribes required to keep the name. These tribes are members of the larger Lakota and... wait for it... DAKOTA Indian Tribes.

So why stop at the Fighting Sioux name? Should they be allowed to have the Dakota name without the permission of the Dakota Indians? I think they should have to move the whole school to South Dakota oops. Okay, then how about Minnesota damnit! How far do they have to move without needing permission? And what about Mr. Franklin here? Did he feel even a slight bit hypocritical sending this letter from his NCAA office in INDIANapolis INDIANa? But you liberals get mad at me when I call you stupid.

Fair enough. Let me put my powers to use for good. UND should change it's name to the University of South of Canada. We don't have enough USC's as it is anyhow. They should change their mascot to a Pitbull. A big, mean, snarling female Pitbull in heat. They could call her... oh, I don't know.. Sue? And she should be mean. A fighter. Know what I'm saying here? Then they could be the University of South of Canada Fighting Sue. See? Everybody wins here. Except for PETA. That could potentially be a problem. But it would buy them a couple of years to come up with something better.